For my Social Change Project I had done this:
I had done this as away of addressing the complicated issue of Domestic Violence. This issue has huge with so many facets that it can be difficult to really find away to raise awareness to it when you have limited resources.
What inspires me? What keeps me going, and gives me purpose? What inspires me is my daughter. 
Let me rephrase that, who inspires is my daughter. My daughter is a bright light in the sometimes cold world. As cliché as that sounds, it is true. She is wonderful. She is a hope filled little creature who is curious, smart, naive, and infuriating all at the same time. When she wakes up her joy at seeing mama and dada’s face melts my heart. Her strong will and demands are enraging. Her persistence and temper tantrums will frustrate a freakin’ saint. She is still small, and yet is getting so big. So big, and yet so small that it boggles the mind to even attempt to understand how that could be possible. She dances, plays, runs, and laughs helps me get through my day. The need to make her feel loved when she feels rejected, or excluded drive me through my day, and gives me purpose. 
That is what inspires me.
When asked what would be the one fine art photo I would by regardless of the price I thought about it for a second even though I basically knew the answer. Eugene Richards is my absolute favorite photographer. He deals with the nastier side of humanity, and has this ability of present the beauty and awe of that grit as well as man in general. His photos of those affected by the drug epidemics in neighborhoods like North Philadelphia are gruesome, but you can’t help but look to see these people, and their fallibility as well as 
their humanity. Landscapes are excellent. They are beautiful, but I have found for me that the images that photographers such as Eugene Richards capture are compelling, and painfully honest but in a good way. It’s honest in that it doesn’t hide the harsh realities of people, but it also exposes the tenderness as well. Take for instance the photo above. That was taken by Eugene Richards for his book Cocaine True Cocaine Blue. In it you have this skinny, strung out man in a dilapidated room fixing up, using a shoe lace to tie off. It’s disgusting; it’s some real trifling shit, but then you see the photo of a baby. It’s not completely in focus, but it is clearly a baby, and it’s placement in the photo is deliberate. Seeing that makes you think. It makes you wonder, and then you don’t always see the scene for what it originally came across as. It’s complex and intriguing. It makes you wonder who? Why? When? So to answer the question images such as the one above for Eugene Richards are the pieces of fine art I would purchase, now matter the price.
My wife hangs a lot of art on the walls of our home. Well, family photos aren’t really art per say. Some of it really nice, some cheesy reprints, but they’re all there covering our apartment. The good thing about that is that we live in a place that offers enough wall space that there are some things on that wall I actually want to see. There is more than just one piece of artwork/photography that I of fond of, it’s just hard to find in the mix of all the other pictures on the wall, and that’s the problem. Some of the space is covered by, like I had mentioned, really cheesy reprints, in our case a couple van Gogh reprints that are worth less than the paint chips that lay on floor below. I got lucky and I found so of the 
photos that I I love. This family guy pictured that was autographed by someone that I have like a major, major, major guy crush on. This guy:
Seth MacFarlane. The creator of such shows as Family Guy and American Dad. It came with papers of authenticity, so it is real, and I love it. Family Guy is my favorite TV show of all time. I don’t know if that makes me childish, but I’m a huge fan. I think that’s how my wife convinced me to move in when we were dating; she attached to a fishing pole and just reeled me in. Kidding. But seriously, I love Family Guy. I want to fall asleep and wake up in Quahog. I want to do things like nurse Death back to the mend from a sprained ankle. I want to dance a jig with my Irish Drunken Dad. I don’t actually have one of those, but I would love to do a song and dance number with one. Anyway, the point is that Family Guy was a show that I watched as a teen/young adult who found it a great to be a great release, and an inspiration. That is why I love that one.
It will be easy to understand why I love these next two images. Observe:
These two are pretty self explanatory. The first is the day I got married, and the second is my daughter sleeping next to my wife.
Those are a couple of favorite photos.
Do you ever wish that you could change the world? Have you ever tried to, tried to make even a little difference? I bet if you have there has even been times where you’ve felt like your efforts were futile, and small. How is spoon out slop to a wino at a soup kitchen gonna change the issue of hunger? How is it that you could possibly change hunger when the wino is going to go drink and gallon of thunderbird, and then stumble out into traffic, and get hoot by a bus. What’s the point? I had thought that for a while. But a piece of paper changed that for me. Something very personal happened, personal enough to change my interactions with the world. Once that occurred I became an eager beaver. I tried everything I could to change the world in literally, restricted as I was. I did everything from handing out flyers to begging for money for certain charities. While I succeeded at some of my goals, I saw how neglectful people could be when they weren’t directly affected by something. I saw how callously selfish some could be if it meant that they had to give, even a little. They were like me, and that broke me in a sense because what was the point in trying to do what was right if no one cared. So I withdrew for a while. Then my wife got pregnant, and everything changed.
I don’t know why, but maybe it was because I had a child but I started to care again. I began to try to do things for the causes I care about. Having a child now I can’t do all the things that I used to do, but I found my niche. That place is providing awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault. It’s not big, but it’s something that might help someone, and that’s all that matters.
Do you believe in ghosts. When you hear a creak in the middle of the night do attribute to things that go bump in the night? Have you seen something that you just can’t explain? I have though I am slightly embarrassed to admit it. It was a unsettling.
I used to work as a landscaper for a friend of the family. He owned a bar in the city, and so he couldn’t, or rather didn’t have the time to do all the things needed done around his house in Putnam. A a result I worked on the property for the most part alone. In the summer time I would work until dark. One evening after several days of little sleep and too much caffeine, I was cleaning up before my ride came to drive me home. The moon was out, and it cast this bluish gray light across the lawn.
In the center of the lawn were two fairly large tree that literally casted an almost pitch black shadow on the yard in the moon light. Finishing up I looked up, and saw this black silhouette of a person walking, well more like creeping across the yard. It stopped at the trunk of the first tree, and it seemed to be hugging it as if trying to hide. Concerned I yelled at what I believed was a person. They didn’t respond. I tried again coming closer and still no response. What was shocking was that there seemed to be no real distinguishing feature, just a black shadow.
Distressed, I went carefully over to the tree. I could hear every small twig snap and crunch under the soles of my shoes. There wasn’t a sound, and yet my head was full of noise. I had grabbed a pair of pruners which I held up close to my face. I wasn’t actually sure if I was going to use the pruners to stab and cut who ever was hiding behind the tree, or if I was gonna bludgeon them to death. For all I knew I was going to drop the pruners and run away screaming like a little girl leaving a trail of urine behind me.
Exhaustion from lack of sleep was all consuming, and I began to get concerned as I approached. Was I just seeing things? Am I gonna die tonight? Who the hell is this, and why are they hiding behind a tree? What did they do that they need to hide? Then crazier questions filled my brain. Is this a vampire? What about a sex crazed maniac who is going to throw me in a pit in their basement, and then order me to “rub the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again?” All that went through my mind as I came closer to the tree. As I came closer to the tree, something even more disturbing came to my attention. Who ever was behind the tree appeared to have noticed me, and was moving around the trunk in an effort to stay out of sight. The black silhouette moved around while I circled the tree painstakingly slow. I was terrified, and I mean terrified. I could feel my heart in my ears. Hell, my eyes pulsated with the beating of my heart.
The shadow circled the tree.
I moved closer, trying to prep myself for the horrific inevitable.
The shadow continued to move.
There was silence all around me, and while it wasn’t deafening; it felt like heavy weights were being placed on my chest pressing me. I came closer.
The shadow moved around the tree again.
Finally I came with in like two feet of the tree. I stood there just waiting. Waiting, and wondering, wondering what the hell was behind the tree. “If vegetarians don’t eat meat then why do some of them eat fish?”, was the next question that came to me. Don’t know why, but it did. And then I waited. The darkness of the tree’s shadow in the moon light seemed to get darker, and the shadow even darker. I couldn’t move, I just couldn’t. All I could do was wait; wait for that phantom to scar me to death, or that psycho in his mother’s clothing to coming rushing out at me. Silence.
Silence was all that was there. No cars came by, and my ride hadn’t come yet. That terrified me even more. T he fact that something could happen, and I would be completely, and totally alone. All the while absolutely nothing had occurred. I just stared at the tree. Waiting, I was about to literally about to have a heart attack. Part of me wanted to just get it over with, confront who, or whatever was hiding and if something truly horrible was to happen then so be it. The only problem was I couldn’t move. The fact that when I had first called out to them, and they hadn’t responded was eerie, and now that they seemed to notice me was even worse. The fact that the shadow hadn’t tried to run, or confront me was even more frightening.
Silence.
Then there was a noise that broke the my fear. A car horn that smashed through, waking me up. The headlight’s light reflected off the houses siding, and brightened the yard.
Nothing.
There was absolutely nothing there. Just a space where I had believed something possibly sinister had occupied. Then nothing. Nothing at all. I walked to the car, and getting in I didn’t say anything about the shadow that I believed I “saw”. Pulling out of the driveway there was an awkward, hair raising sense of relief that washed over me.
That was what I saw. I didn’t tell anyone about it, not even my wife for fear of embarrassment. When I did tell her, it was years after we were married. While she didn’t laugh at me, I could tell that there was some disbelief in her reaction. I was humiliated. It never happened again; never again was there an incident of that magnitude. No being left alone to fend off the dark, not like that anymore. Still, there are those times where a catch the glance of something, or out of the corner of my eye a shape will seem to in the shadows. But then I turn and look, turn on a light to see clearly and there is what there was before; nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Yesterday daughter was watching Sesame Street, and she did some very unexpected. She decided to spend like 10 minutes just playing on her head.
Literally on her head, and all the while she was just babbling away. I know it may not seem like that big of deal, but what my daughter does freakin’ amazes me sometimes. It’s like the one time that she had wanted our attention, and so she roared. We had gone to the zoo the other day, and some how she had picked it up, and understood that the noise would make she a star for the moment. She has never done it again, but like I said before she amazes me.
The above image is a visual that has been on my mind for weeks. This image comes from the animated TV show “Family Guy”. On a very recent episode of the animated series “Family Guy” Stewie Griffin (he’s the baby) becomes concerned that his best friend Brian the Dog are growing apart. In despair comes to the false realization that a baby would save their friendship. Knowing that Brian would never consent to it, Stewie steals Brian’s DNA and impregnates himself. It was in my opinion, hilarious.
The diabolical baby genius Stewie.
The alcoholic talking dog Brian.
I love Family Guy.
The show is smart, and funny though inappropriate at times. It’s that off color blue comedy that at times delivers low blows which I consider to be riotous. The irony that a baby would come to the conclusion that having a baby would save a relationship is side splitting funny. Then there is the part of the story where he actually does it. In case there is anyone out there who isn’t too familiar with this character, Stewie is the baby of the dysfunction that is the Griffin family. Smart, and diabolical, Stewie is as sophisticated as he is naive. He understands science to such a level that he is able to make fantastic inventions like time machines, but still hasn’t quite gotten that mechanics behind sex. His naive exceptionality makes his adventures all that more entertaining. In this case when he goes into labor he gives birth to a litter.
The resulting consequences of that disturbing genetic cross was a vicious side splitting situation that left me gasping for air. Stewie and Brian’s off spring are ravaged with birth defects, and the responsibility of caring for them pushes both of them to near exhaustion. Two of the puppies try to eat each other, and a puppy that is blind drowns when they go to the park. As horrible as the subject is the resulting satiric calamities couldn’t help but make me laugh especially when Stewie and Brian came to realize that the only reason that they were having trouble was because both of their moods were offsetting each other, and that the babies actually did more damage than good. Their solution while comical, was nevertheless horrific; they abandon the kids at an animal shelter. Once finished with that Stewie and Brian go back to the way things were before, their ordeal teaching them and us the lesion that children are not the solution to relationship problems, but when a baby thinks that having a baby will fix his friendship it freakin’ hilarious.
What is one of the most beautiful things that you have ever seen? That is an interesting question? Depending on who you are it could be anything. Some would say that it is the birth of their children, while others would say a sun set. Many might say that beauty is a relative term that has no true meaning. A flower, or a rack of meat at a meat-packing plant could both be viewed as equally beautiful. That’s what makes questions like that so interesting, and revealing.
The ones love are supposed to know you inside and out. Some times they know you better than you know yourself, and in turn you them. When I was asked to interview a family member I had thought it would be relatively easy for my to figure out what that family member’s answers would be. To my surprise my assumptions weren’t completely correct.
I asked my uncle Henry (that sounded kinda weird, that title with that name) the three questions. 
1. What is one of the most beautiful things you have ever seen?
Seeing the Aurora Borealis flying from Tokyo to New York City.
2. What is one of the most beautiful things you have ever experienced?
Watching my wife smiling and laughing so hard at something she finds funny. It beautiful to see someone who enjoys laughter so much.
3. What is their favorite memory or story about you?
How I you(me) made that Family Guy video for your wedding.
While I was in the ball park on some of his answers, I still hadn’t really thought that he would have mentioned the Northern lights. My uncle had traveled all over world, more recently Asia, and out of all the things he had seen for some reason the Aurora Borealis just didn’t compute in my brain as one of things that was the most captivating visuals he had seen. His wife’s laughter I had guessed would be his answer to the second question, or the birth of his two kids. However, the video that I had made for my wedding was a response I would not have expected in a million years. Well, maybe not in a million years, but the stupid Family Guy themed video that I had made for my wedding? Out of all the other stupid things I’d done, his fondest memory of me is that was unexpected.
Your loved ones are the ones that know you best, or at least that’s many people believe. You are supposed to know them better than they know themselves. I thought that was the case but when it came to the idea of beauty; my assumptions were wrong. What that means is that in terms of beauty, the idea is universal. For everyone the idea, the image, the moment, whatever it is differs and can not necessarily be defined. What I had thought was not what moved my Uncle, and while I had initially felt almost like I had been deceived it taught me that beauty is really a personal choice. That is the point of this whole post, if I was actually able to get that idea across.
Last week I had a power point presentation that I presented to my class. It was an explanation of my idea for our long-term class project that had to do with time. Even though it wasn’t quiet as nerve-racking as I had feared, to be honest horribly apprehensive, I mean like I had a weird nightmare the night before that I went to class naked except for socks, and was stoned to death for them not matching. I know that didn’t make much sense, but the point is that I was terrified that my presentation would end in my going down in flames. While I think that my fearful panic was a little off target, there was still much that needed to be improved.
What I believe was the best part were the visuals; the oral presentation certainly left something to be desired. Images of my daughter dying seemed to convey the purpose of my subject for my project. They spoke the words that I had forgotten to say or just couldn’t get out. Their beautiful discomfort displayed drew you in and at the same time left you uncomfortable with fact that you were looking at such images of heartbreaking pain that were compellingly disturbing. Images that conveys the reality of babies. Still the power point was complete.
While the materials were there to make a great presentation, one that showed that crying is what babies do the majority of the time, there still felt like something was missing. I felt that somehow my presentation had been off target. I felt discombobulated and completely unorganized as I tried my best to a good flow of visuals, and my words that were needed to fully explain my project. While I could tell that many of my classmates understood concept of my Time Project, it was also very clear that many were also confused by what I felt was disorganization despite my attempts at being prepared. If I had the chance I would love to be able to present my power point again.
Here are the visuals that are in the Powerpoint I presented.
andrewbrucephotography 